6 Tips For First Time Dads.
We understand you are working to support us and we love you for it. We appreciate you for it, even if complete exhaustion doesn’t allow us to always express it. You may think there isn’t much you can do but you have no idea how helpful you can be. So, here are 6 tips for first time dads to help us in this crazy new adventure.
Please remember, even though we aren’t receiving a pay check, we are working harder than we ever have before. We are on call 24/7 with no weekends.
1. Look after us.
I will point out that we are more than capable of looking after ourselves but sometimes we don’t want to.
We spend 24 hours a day (literally) looking after this wee baby while still doing our best by making sure your basic needs are looked after too (washing, cooking dinner etc). We actually don’t mind doing this by the way. As much as it is something that needs doing it is also a way we show you we love you.
But, taking initiative and helping out around the house without being asking will NOT go unnoticed. Of course, it is still nice when you ask if there is anything you can do but, look around, could the floors do with a vacuum? Are the dishes pilling up? Is there a load of laundry that needs to be folded?
Looking after us means you need to….
2. Take control.
Take the baby. You know we are absolutely shattered and would kill for a minute of free time. Don’t ask us if we want a break, just do it, and send us on our merry way to soak in a nice hot bath, watch some trashy TV, go out for coffee with a friend or most likely, take a nap. Better yet, run the bath for us. Trust me, we will be more than grateful and might just cry (in a good way) because we are so overwhelmed with exhaustion, hormones and emotion.
To be able to take control you need to….
3. Know our baby.
Learn how to:
Comfort her.
Tell whether she is hot/cold/tired/hungry (and how to fix these).
Know what her favourite toys are.
Know what to pack in the nappy bag if you go out.
This is a simple list and if you don’t know, ask. We will be more than happy to show you. Nothing beats getting in there and giving it a go though. You will most likely do things a bit differently to us, we may cringe but that is our issue and unless its life threatening we probably just need to take a step back. Basically, practice makes perfect.
To get to know our baby you need to….
4. Spend time with our baby.
This not only helps us out but we LOVE watching you bond and spend time with this unbelievably cute, pooping, puking bundle of joy we have created together. There is something about it that makes our hearts melt. You have no idea how much we love this demanding little creature and to see you loving her too is everything.
If your baby is being nursed, you might think there isn’t a lot you can do. Wrong. When they are brand you might only be able to cuddle and talk to them but, apart from feeding, that’s all we actually do too. When they get a little older they love interaction.
Play with the toys with them.
Read books (Eva loves books right now)
They are seriously nosy little things so, take them for a walk around the block and explore the neighborhood together.
Take them to the park (there are usually baby swings)
Talk to them, make funny faces and silly noises, let them grab your face and watch them giggle. (Eva currently loves to suck on Josh’s nose which I find a bit yuck but like I said previously…if it ain’t killing them let them be).
Bonding with your baby now will set such a good foundation for an even better relationship down the road.
5. Talk to us.
I mean, really talk to us. Ask how we are going? How are we coping? How are we feeling? Listen and respond. I know this isn’t your most favourite of things to do but you know we need it and it means a lot to us. We also care about the way you are feeling too.
I know it might seem like there isn’t a lot you can do and you aren’t really needed. The truth of the matter is, it shows you care and that you appreciate us. Not feeling appreciated will only lead to resentment and that is not a great road to walk. Maintaining a relationship with a new baby is hard enough as it is. Doing these few simple things (OK, some of them will take time and effort) will benefit our whole family and you will have played a big part in that.
Last but definitely not least…
6. Take the photo.
When I look through my photos there are soooo many of just Eva or Eva with her daddy. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of Eva and I, apart from the selfies. As much as I don't particularly enjoy being photographed I would love my life with Eva to be documented. Not only do I want to be able to look back fondly at the special moments and memories we shared but I would love for them to exist for her and her children to look back on even after I am gone.
So, dads, pick up that phone or camera or whatever and take the shot. Take the shot when we haven't gotten out of our pajamas, haven't done our hair and are snuggling on the couch with our babes. Take the shot when we are walking hand in hand with our mini-me's down the footpath or along the beach. Take the shot when we sit and read with our little munchkins as they soak up every bit of information. Just Take The Shot. It will mean so much to us even though we main complain at the time of how awful we think we look.
We need you, we want you and we love you.
Happy Wife. Happy Life (ha)
Nastasia
xx